Part 1
On Friday, November 16 I opened my results from Ancestry.com. I had been putting off looking at the results because let’s face it- you never know what you are going to get when you open that kind of Pandora’s Box.
As I waited for the results to populate I was definitely anxious. I’m thankful my amazing teaching assistant was there by me. The first thing Ancestry shows is where you are from in the global scale. No surprises there!
What was surprising? A match. Ancestry showed a 1-2 cousin match with last names connected that were completely unfamiliar to me. Considering the level of genealogy I have been exposed to I knew that this was the exact result I needed.
That weekend I sent messages on Ancestry and continued to do research via Facebook and google. I was able to find a phone number for this cousin who lives in Florida. By Tuesday, November 20 I hadn’t heard anything from the messages I sent so I took the plunge and called the number I found.
Have you ever done something that you KNEW would completely change your life? It is stressful to say the least. My FitBit recorded more active minutes during that phone call than during my last run. The conversation started like this:
“Hi, my name is Elizabeth. Our DNA had a match on Ancestry as being cousins and I’m looking for my biological father. Can you help me?”
Can you imagine that? I had no idea how she’d respond. Would she be open? Would she know anything? Would I want to know anything?
I gave her the little information I had including location, possible age range, and a date range. She ended the conversation by telling me she had an aunt who had a few boys so she knew who to call first and she would get back to me.
In hindsight doing this the week of Thanksgiving was a mistake on my part. I wanted to not step on toes during the holiday but I was also anxious to know more, to finally answer some questions. I spent much of Wednesday and Thursday doing research using Facebook and Google and was able to narrow my search down to one possibility.
I continued my research by trying to find out everything I could about this person. I was able to find his place of employment, family, a few phone numbers, and even his address. The kicker? He lived across town from me. Up until the time I began dating my husband I moved. A lot. I spent many years in Virginia Beach visiting family when we moved elsewhere or even living in nearby cities. After meeting Scott I moved to Virginia Beach and have lived here since then. Imagine my shock to find that out of all the places in the world my biological father was living a few minutes away this entire time.
By Thursday, November 22, Thanksgiving day, I was anxious to take the plunge and call who I thought was my father even without hearing back from my helpful cousin. My husband supported any decision I made although he felt it would be best to call the work number instead of the home number so I could give him time to process before involving his family. Usually my husband is more restrained in social situations so I tend to defer to him. I waited until Friday and called the work number.
On November 23, Black Friday, the company was closed so I had no answers. I went ahead and called the cousin back who said she had texted and spoke to him on the phone. Essentially my potential Father knew about me. He had my information. He would call when he was ready. That alone was enough to make me feel at ease.
While sitting with Scott and Abby in the kitchen my phone rang. It was a local number but I didn’t recognize it. Since it was later in the evening and Black Friday to boot I felt a surge of anxiety. Was this him? Could it be the person I have been thinking about my whole life?
As I answered the phone a voice said, “Hi, I’m Jeff I hear you are looking for me.” Not many people have the opportunity to remember the first time they spoke with one of their parents. I will.
